lights out

It's been raining for three days straight. today was windy as well as rainy. not a good start. at school the lights flicked a couple of times in the morning.... so i sat with a flashlight all morning. did i mention the schools server was down? so no computer. a couple of kids being themselves i guess, which is exhausting for me. 130pm in my self contained reading group as well as having a 5th grade boy who has autism. just us sitting at the round table. the power goes out. did i mention that my room has no windows? so its a dungeon. not only are the two couple of kids low functioning but the boy in 5th grade then starts to say "they're here... they're coming to get us" did i mention that i left the flashlight on the other table? ohhh my life in the classroom is never a dull moment. tomorrow is jean day. i hope it's not raining and i hope the power doesn't go out. i need just a small break.

lifesavers

i came into my kind of deaded staff meeting thinking i hope this doesnt take long. its my day off of cheerleading and i wanted to actually get some planning done. well its now 4pm and i am still there. just as we are about to be dismissed, our counselor tells us some sad news about a couple of families.
one hispanic family has 4 kids. one 16, one in 8th grade, one in 4th and one in 1st. the two younger kids go to my school. well their 16 year old brother decided to go with some friends and break into a house. as the house alarm went off, he attempted to jump out of the window and stabbed himself with the glass on accident. this family was visited by our school admin. and they have nothing. the food was barely there and this family is now grieving and trying to figure out a funeral with no $. the second story is a 1st grader at our school. his parents just had a baby 3 months ago, dad recently lost his job, and this past weekend was killed in a car accident. ugh. just as i was thinking that my day was going to be ruined if i didn't get planning time after school.
as i sat there, i probably could've cried. i cant imagine that feeling that anyone in either of those situations are going through. could you imagine losing your sibiling at a young age? or what about your dad? or being the mother to a lost child? a wife... with two young kids?
i called brian and told him the story and said, lets help. he agreed. so i went and bought some food for the family that was in great need. it felt so good. while i was at the store, another story from the meeting came to mind. staff morale being low... we needed a lil pep. and so me... being voted most school spirited in high school and being on the SUNSHINE committee, i got to thinking.
i came to school today, with no lesson plans, ha, but i did bring 4 bags of food for a family in need, and a bowl full of lifesavers and kisses (chocolate ones that is) with a note on top saying "sometimes all you need to save your day is a lifesaver or a kiss" how creative i know! no one knew it was me except for the couple of teachers in the room when i made the drop off, but by the end of the day, the bowl was almost gone and whether or not they gave a crap about the note, they had to have read it. and i know for sure they enjoyed the candy.
so after you read this..... go pay it forward in some way :)

I have a blog?

Well, I will say, I totally forgot I have a blog... or should I say, we have a blog. It was fun to look at Tammy and Theresas blog and see the pictures of the kids :) We miss home, so I love seeing the pictures and reading the stories.
So summer came and went. We got married <3 We love it. The wedding was so much fun, the reception was fun, everything was so much fun!
Now the school year has started, we are a month into it already, pretty crazy. The honeymoon period at school is for sure over! Brian and I are staying pretty busy with school, coaching, painting the apt on the weekends, putting away all of our wedding gifts, or trying to at least.
We did hang up our new wine glasses underneath the cabinets in the kitchen, so when the Klein's come to visit I will have some wine and wine glasses for you. As for Theresa, I for sure have short rock glasses to make us a nice little V&T :)
Keep us posted on life up there, we miss you all!

Well, it's been a few months, sorry. The last couple months of school were exhausting and to be quite honest, I forgot about the blog. ha. surprise. Well here's what we've been up to:

Wedding
Wedding
Wedding

There is only 15 days left until we become a married couple. aahhhhh. That's an ahhhh of excitement if you couldn't tell. While Brian is enjoying the life in Vegas this weekend, I will be enjoying writing out thank you notes, finishing centerpieces, trying to figure out how to do a picture slideshow, and bathing my... I mean our dog. Man Brian has it rough. Well, thats about it. I am so excited to be back home in Michigan. It's so good to be able to see friend and family and more than just a couple days. I am also enjoying the summer life of a teacher... hence that's why I have so much crap.... I mean fun things to do for the wedding. I've been enjoying laying out in the sun baking my white skin, so that I look "glowing" in my dress. Thats if the dress actually fits. I am PMSing and eating just about anything in site. The latest crave is rice krispie treats. I made them at the Klein's, tried to leave them, but when I was leaving, there was a note on top of the pan saying, "Amanda, please take these with you or else I will eat them all, luv, Dad" haha, so I left them two and took half a pan home with me. Thank goodness, because they are delicious! Im sure I might regret this decision in a couple weeks as I try to squeeze my fatnesss into a tiny dress :) So if you are at the wedding and notice back fat hanging out of the top of my dress, just think of how happy I am that I ate those treats.

Drug Problem

I received this as an email and thought others would enjoy it:

Editor’s note:
The following letter has appeared on the internet and was viewed by many readers. Many felt it would be appropriate for the readers of Avoyelles Parish.

The other day, someone at a store in our town read that a Methamphetamine lab had been found in an old farmhouse in the adjoining county and he asked me a rhetorical question, “Why didn’t we have a drug problem when you and I were growing up?”
I replied, I had a “drug problem” when I was young: I was drug to church on Sunday morning. I was drug to church for weddings and funerals. I was drug to family reunions and community socials no matter the weather.
I was drug by my ears when I was disrespectful to adults. I was also drug to the woodshed when I disobeyed my parents, told a lie, brought home a bad report card, did not speak with respect, spoke ill of the teacher or the preacher, or if I didn’t put forth my best effort in everything that was asked of me.
I was drug to the kitchen sink to have my mouth washed out with soap if I uttered a profanity. I was drug out to pull weeds in mom’s garden and flower beds and cockleburs out of dad’s fields. I was drug to homes of family, friends and neighbors to help out some poor soul who had no one to mow the yard, repair the clothesline, or chop some firewood, and, if my mother had ever known that I took a single dime as a tip for this kindness, she would have drug me back to the woodshed.
Those drugs are still in my veins and they affect my behavior in everything I do, say, or think. They are stronger than cocaine, crack, or heroine; and, if today’s children had this kind of drug problem, America would be a better place.
God bless the parents who drugged us.
Submitted by concerned citizen


so can i share this with my students parents?

i can't even imagine

As I sit here on the weekend in my living room, watching a huge tv, typing on a brand new laptop, and full, I think about my students who are not. This past month has really been something else for me. I guess I just wasn't thinking about it in depth until now. I serve about 30 kids a day. I would say about half if not more wear the same pants for the whole week (and one I know, can't even zip or button them because they are too small) so many of my students are wearing clothes that are either too big or too small. I want to say "at least they have some sort of clothes to wear" but for myself growing up, I never had to worry about any of that. I was always provided for. Not only do some of my students wear clothes that aren't their size or are dirty, some of my students go home on fridays knowing that they may not eat that weeked. or if they do eat, they may not feel full after. ugh. it breaks my heart. if i could i would have them all over and feed their little bellies full. good thing my counselor has this program through our county called "back pack pals." every friday there are students in the school that pick up an "extra" backpack on their way out of school. some are embarrassed, some are glad, some probably have no idea where it's coming from. in that back pack are snacks. not meals, but those kids now know that they will have something to eat this weekend.
One of my students who qualified for this program lives in a trailer park. a big trailer park, however it's not a pretty new trailer. This trailer park almost had me in tears the first time i saw it. there are trailers with no windows, rusted trailers, no curtains, i can't even begin to describe it. you would need a picture. its sad. well she came to me one day and said "i want to tell you something, but you can't tell anyone." i said ok. she had a huge smile on her face. "the counselor is giving me a back pack that i can take home today and it's filled with snacks and stuff for my family because sometimes its too expensive to buy lots of food." omg. seriously? that was my first thought. here is a girl who looks completely "normal" clean clothes, showers, smells good, always happy, and yet I had no idea that she lived like this. I had to put on a happy face and say "thats so cool!! I'm so happy for you" when i really wanted to cry and hug her.
When I drew a picture of a house at the beginning of the year and asked my kids who lived with them,one of my kids said that their house looks like this.. and they drew a rectangle. ugh. I now know that school is probably the best place for these kids. They are guaranteed a free breakfast, a free lunch, climate control, water, and a clean bathroom. never the less they get love. i have to always remind myself to not get upset for kids who complain about things like 'i need some more water, i'm hungry (even though they just ate) sleeping in class (for the whole day) not doing their homework. it breaks my heart especially when its time to go home and they complain about going home. i was always like, YESSSSS, LET'S GO HOME!!!

I want to take this opportunity to thank God and my parents. i was just telling this story to my parents while they were down here. I can't imagine not knowing if i was going to eat and be full every night. i can't imagine going to school in dirty clothes. wearing the same thing everyday. not having someone help me on my homework. being cold at night. so thank you for giving me food, warmth, shelter, and love.

life begins.

my neice is 12. ugh. do i need to say anything more? 12!! what was i doing at the age of 12? do i want to go back and remember that?

well i was in the 7th grade i think. so i was in middle school, playing volleyball after school, playing basketball after school (for some reason... ha i am awful at basketball) hanging out with friends. loving life. boys.

does she have a 'boyfriend?' i wonder... she says no, but did i admit that i had a 'boyfriend?'

hormones. oh hormones.

friends. i had a new group of friends. some old ones from elementary, some new friends that i met from other elementary schools. life seemed to be beginning.

i feel old. my once little neice is 12. i stopped keeping track of her age at i think 7 maybe 8. i don't want her to grow up. i do, but i don't. i do. i want to know what she's going to be like when she's in high school. i want to know what she's going to do after high schoool, what will her career be? I can't even imagine what my sister is thinking. ha. better her than me though.
next year i will be the aunt of two teenagers. ohhh goodness. i don't have kids so i don't even know the emotions or thoughts of a parent. i just know that when you're a teenager 'your life begins'

Sunday. Oh sundays. Tomorrow is Monday and that means back to work. In case you haven't heard, I thought I would fill you all in on my experience that I had about a week ago.....

8:00am- I'm working with 4 second graders on reading. I have another 2nd grader working on reading a book by herself, because she's been reading it all week and is about to be tested on it when I'm finished with my group.

8:30- My group is about finished, they are working on their independent work and i call her over and have her read a page, i read a page. I ask questions as we go along.

*Let me tell you here that this little girl is so sweet and spunky. She reminds me of my neices, sweet yet sassy. She loves attention, she loves hugs. She's in my room 3 out of 4 hours. She doesn't brush her hair. what 8 year old does right? to make it more obvious, i love her.

ok, so as our reading starts and about comes to an end, i think she's giggling on the table, because she's so spunky and silly, but in the matter of seconds (which felt like forever) she is not giggling on the table, she's collapsing. she quickly (but felt like slow motion) falls to the floor. unresponsive. i go into teacher/mother mode. i quickly get my radio, call the principal for help, run next door, get the other spec. ed teacher. my assistant is on the floor with her trying to get her to respond. i am down there rubbing her arm and holding her hand. assuring her that she's ok even though she's not responding. i can feel her muscles tensing up. she finally opens her eyes slightly. she's like a waking child, not sure whats going on, shes scared and wants to cry but can't. i start telling her she's ok and that noone is here, just her and i and my assistant. i start asking 21 questions. it may seem like an hour has gone by, but it's been a mere 5 minutes. The principal isn't sure who is calling for help because apparently I didn't state my name while calling for help., so i get a call on the PA in my room asking if it's me that needs help. seconds later i have a principal, assistant principal, nurse, and secretary in my room. Once the nurse takes over, i can feel myself about to cry. i asked if i can be excused for a second. actually i think i said "i need to use a break card" thats what my students use. they tell me to go take a walk down to the kindergarten rooms because no one is in there.

as i walk out of my room, my eyes well up with tears and as soon as i see the other spec ed teacher out there, i let it all out. as i'm being comforted, i start to tell her that i thought she was going to die. that was my first thought. how can i let this happen in my classroom? what could i have done better. i take a moment to walk to one end of the hallway and then back down to see whats happeing.

i meet them in the nurses office. shes sitting in a wheelchair. lathargic. trying to sip applejuice. tired. not looking at anyone. as her mom comes in and gets her, i wish her well and assure her she's going to be fine. but is she?

i get a call back from her doctor asking what happened and it seems as though shes had a seizure. we still haven't received all the test results. she hasn't actually received all the testing.

my first year has been one heck of a first year. it started off with small things and now we are at this experience. i don't want to know whats in store for me next. but i know that God isn't going to give me something that i can't handle. maybe this was a practice. i can only hope that my first year ends on a good note. i have about 2 months left. to be cont....

"and I just want to point this out..."

workshops. ugh. some of them are ridiculous. the reading workshop i've been attending once or twice a month, for the past 3 months has really been worth my while. to make a long story short, today was my last day. 830am test. what have i learned from this seminar? the leader of the class says "and I just want to point this out, amanda smallwood made the most growth from her pre-test to her post test and she received the highest score out of the class" my face goes red. i won a packet of nerds. apparently i am a nerd. i'm fine with that. what did i miss on the test? well to make another long story short, i second guessed myself. i choose an answer, then scribbled it out and wrote "no" next to it. ugh. seriously? i do this all the time. why? don't know. ugh. but whatever, i still did awesome. 99% .

if you're a teacher and reading this you get it... i hope. i've been teaching in my own room since August and i guess have doubted myself a few times. am i doing this right? i've not been trained in any of these programs. are my students truly learning? i had great ideas and they've failed before, how do i make these kids learn? their quarterly tests aren't showing much growth (granted its on grade level and most of them can't read on grade level) but i guess what i'm saying is, i felt really good today after receiving my test back. i got a lot of great ideas from this seminar that i can hopefully use and hopefully they work. fyi, just because i'm a first year teacher doesn't mean i don't know what i'm doing. i may not get it right the first time, but i will eventually get it.

to wrap this all up with a random ending, i felt so good about my test that i came home and worked out a little bit! made homemade lasagna, went up to my classroom (since i haven't been there since Saturday) then came home and made cinnamon rolls, ate two of them (totally defeating the purpose of working out) but whatever i did awesome on my test!

random

Post #2, wow. I was thinking today "I have a blog. I wonder how this is going to go." Everytime I sign on and view my blog, I smile the minute I hear "You" by Rascal Flatts. That's our wedding song :) I'm so excited for our big day. Excitement from the engagement leads to overwhelming feelings as you try to pick out what is known as the "perfect dress." Then the overwhelming feelings move to prices as you try to decide what vendors to go with. I'm not a big shopper so I felt like I could've gone with the firsts of everything. Now here I am with about 4 months to go and I am still not done planning. It's the one thing in life that you do once. I want to make sure that everthing is perfect. Things still left to plan or figure out: programs, centerpieces (kinda,) shoes, hmmm maybe that's it! woo hoo!!

Randomness, but I got so sun burned today. Please do not have a pity party. My previous white pasty face is now red like a tomato. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

And lastly, my other random comment. My nephew who will be 3 in about 9 days had to have a tooth pulled. He knocked it a couple times while playing and the first time was ok, the dentist said it would tighten up if he didn't hit it again, but luck has it that he hit it again. Dr. Dan put some numbing gel on it and pulled it out with no tears from the lil guy. his daddy put it under his pillow. tooth fairy showed up and left a whole dollar! little morgan thought to money was going to be under every pillow that morning :) poor guy. he has yet to learn that money doesn't grow on trees or under pillows.

Well welcome to my blog. I'm not sure how good this is going to be, but I thought I would give it a shot. I figure that emails aren't this colorful and if you don't want to read about my daily/weekly/monthly happenings or thoughts, then you don't have to. Since I am in my own world down here I thought this would be a fun way of keeping in touch. Plus Brian's sister has a blog and her writing is so creative and fun to read... keeping high hopes for mine :)


I really don't have anything exciting today. I went to school to figure out new centers for my self contained kids because my classroom is chaotic, went to Brian's basketball game for little kids, layed on a towel outside, grocery shopped, now I'm sitting here with the windows still open. ahhh nice weather. Tomorrow, probably cleaning, then laying out on the towel. the same one. my white skin hasn't seen sun for a long time. gross. pasty.

I don't know how my mind went to my new food chopper, but it did. My first Pampered Chef purchase. A food chopper. I chopped cucumbers and green peppers for my salad. Trying to eat healthy. The burrito I ate with it probably defeated the purpose, but hey, it's a start.

ok, enough with my randomness. Brian just said "wow, this is going to be the mandy blog isn't it?" I don't know what that means.