As I sit here on the weekend in my living room, watching a huge tv, typing on a brand new laptop, and full, I think about my students who are not. This past month has really been something else for me. I guess I just wasn't thinking about it in depth until now. I serve about 30 kids a day. I would say about half if not more wear the same pants for the whole week (and one I know, can't even zip or button them because they are too small) so many of my students are wearing clothes that are either too big or too small. I want to say "at least they have some sort of clothes to wear" but for myself growing up, I never had to worry about any of that. I was always provided for. Not only do some of my students wear clothes that aren't their size or are dirty, some of my students go home on fridays knowing that they may not eat that weeked. or if they do eat, they may not feel full after. ugh. it breaks my heart. if i could i would have them all over and feed their little bellies full. good thing my counselor has this program through our county called "back pack pals." every friday there are students in the school that pick up an "extra" backpack on their way out of school. some are embarrassed, some are glad, some probably have no idea where it's coming from. in that back pack are snacks. not meals, but those kids now know that they will have something to eat this weekend.
One of my students who qualified for this program lives in a trailer park. a big trailer park, however it's not a pretty new trailer. This trailer park almost had me in tears the first time i saw it. there are trailers with no windows, rusted trailers, no curtains, i can't even begin to describe it. you would need a picture. its sad. well she came to me one day and said "i want to tell you something, but you can't tell anyone." i said ok. she had a huge smile on her face. "the counselor is giving me a back pack that i can take home today and it's filled with snacks and stuff for my family because sometimes its too expensive to buy lots of food." omg. seriously? that was my first thought. here is a girl who looks completely "normal" clean clothes, showers, smells good, always happy, and yet I had no idea that she lived like this. I had to put on a happy face and say "thats so cool!! I'm so happy for you" when i really wanted to cry and hug her.
When I drew a picture of a house at the beginning of the year and asked my kids who lived with them,one of my kids said that their house looks like this.. and they drew a rectangle. ugh. I now know that school is probably the best place for these kids. They are guaranteed a free breakfast, a free lunch, climate control, water, and a clean bathroom. never the less they get love. i have to always remind myself to not get upset for kids who complain about things like 'i need some more water, i'm hungry (even though they just ate) sleeping in class (for the whole day) not doing their homework. it breaks my heart especially when its time to go home and they complain about going home. i was always like, YESSSSS, LET'S GO HOME!!!
I want to take this opportunity to thank God and my parents. i was just telling this story to my parents while they were down here. I can't imagine not knowing if i was going to eat and be full every night. i can't imagine going to school in dirty clothes. wearing the same thing everyday. not having someone help me on my homework. being cold at night. so thank you for giving me food, warmth, shelter, and love.
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